Search me...

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24


A couple of years ago, Steve Idle preached a sermon, suggesting that if you pray this Psalm, God would reveal our weakness to us. Steve said, “If you don’t want to know, don’t pray it!” I took his advice seriously…I didn’t pray it. I thought that if I just stayed on cruise control, reading the bible each day, being a good steward of what was given to us and generally just being a “good Christian” that all was good. For the last six months, Kevin has been saying that he feels uncomfortable being so comfortable. It was something that didn’t make a lot of sense to him but a feeling that he couldn’t shake. During the same period of time, I have been plagued with the notion that I have not been doing as much as I can to build the kingdom. Parables such as "the parable of the talents" and "the rich young ruler" were bringing me to tears. Something has been brewing in us, and we didn't know what. What I didn't know is that for the last several months Kevin had been praying Psalm 139 and asking God to search his heart.

God has been brutally honest with us and has revealed that we have been living our lives for ourselves.We have been using the resources He has given us to further our comfort, not His kingdom. You have to love God for how direct he can be. The question is, what do we do with this information?

I will keep you posted on where this leads, but for now, we know that some changes are necessary if we are to live the second half of our lives “on purpose” for Him. We will continue to lean on Him for all the answers. If anyone reading this has had a similar experience, I would love to hear from you. PLEASE click on comments.